no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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