She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just found out that she named her cat after me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
