wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
