So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
