My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
