who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
