Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
