Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
