his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
