Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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