she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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