All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
