sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
