What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
