there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
