i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
