Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
