Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
