So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
