Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
