So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize