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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...

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• (206): View more from Washington

  remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

  (206): View more from Washington

  joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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• (716): View more from New York

  i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE

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• (714): View more from California

  I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.

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• (559): View more from California

  I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Never joke about your clitoris.

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