walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
