i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
