Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.