the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
