I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.