youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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