Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
