90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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