Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
