I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
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Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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