How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
