I wish I could punch you in the face.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
