hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
