Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
