Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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