then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
