Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize