marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
