what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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