Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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