i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it's like heaven, but drunker
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
