he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
