i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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