She's JV to your varsity
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
