I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
