it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
