how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
