I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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