I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
