god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
