okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
