he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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