Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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