If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
