Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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