Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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