Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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