she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
