This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize