he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
