"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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