Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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