Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
