i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize