i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
